| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3] > | Off topic: The weirdest job offer you've ever received... Thread poster: Jennifer Baker
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Mário Seita 
Portugal
Local time: 14:46
English to Portuguese
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| Just 3 words | Oct 20, 2006 |
The weirdest thing was an agency asking me to translate just three words: "You are here"!
They insisted to pay, and they did.
This was our first and last "collaboration".
I wonder if they didn't like the translation, or maybe the style...
| | | | Heinrich Pesch
Finland
Local time: 16:46
Member (2003)
Finnish to German
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| Patent for a perpetuum mobile | Oct 20, 2006 |
This job comes to mind, did it last month. A device for producing "free energy", that once going never stops.
Cheers
Heinrich
| | | | Pablo Mayen
Mexico
Local time: 07:46
English to Spanish
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| Patents indeed... | Oct 20, 2006 |
... are a fertile ground for some of the wackiest ideas out there. If not, please take a look below:
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/index.html
under "Crazy patents"
I'm in the patents field and, sad to say, I've never come across one of these: But I would love to...
"Device For Moistening The Adhesive Coating On Postage Stamps and Envelopes". Desc... See more ... are a fertile ground for some of the wackiest ideas out there. If not, please take a look below:
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/index.html
under "Crazy patents"
I'm in the patents field and, sad to say, I've never come across one of these: But I would love to...
"Device For Moistening The Adhesive Coating On Postage Stamps and Envelopes". Describes a device containing an applicator to moisten stamps. Check out this quote: "The applicator may be in the form of a human tongue".
"Kissing Shield": The present invention proposes a method and device in which a flexible membrane is used as a kissing shield to lessen one's chances of becoming infected by disease from casual contact. Now that's an invention! ▲ Collapse
| | | | Henry Hinds
United States
Local time: 07:46
English to Spanish
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In memoriam | Another Shield | Oct 20, 2006 |
Pablo's "kissing shield" reminded me of a patent I translated once, a kind of "female condom".
After going through the description of the device, all I could think of was:
"Strap on the inner tube, honey, and let's get a-rockin".
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Maria Karra
United States
Local time: 09:46
Member (2000)
Greek to English
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Jack Doughty wrote:
A device for assessing the age of a male patient by measuring the strength of his urine jet.
Interesting... But why go through all that trouble? Couldn't we just ...ask him how old he is?
Magda wrote:
it was a letter from a US citizen officially complaining to Polish government and requesting them to take action against Martians in his garden in USA
I wonder why he wrote to the Polish government specifically. Did he consider them experienced in this matter?
I'm so jealous, I never get such interesting translations So thanks for sharing!
Maria
| | | | Irene N
United States
Local time: 08:46
English to Russian
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| Proofreading... | Oct 20, 2006 |
I believe I have already told this story before but we've got quite a few new members since.
~14 years ago when I was working as a PM for an agency, we received somewhat 30 pages of oil-related text for proofreading. The text was English original after 2 steps - Select All and font change to Cyrillic. The request was - Please check if Russian is OK:-)
| | | | Lia Fail (X)
Spain
Local time: 15:46
Spanish to English
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..... for a beatifully produced photo magazine, with the text in various languages tucked down at the end of the page in tiny font.
The material included a cartoon strip for which we had to translate captions. My colleagues and I never got the images, despite asking and explaining why we needed them:-(
| | | | Andrea Riffo
Chile
Local time: 09:46
English to Spanish
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Now I definitely won't get any work done
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EmmanuelleAn (X)
Local time: 15:46
English to French
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Love messages sent via SMS by the client. I knew the client quite well and knew how much it meant to her..so I put a lot of effort (too much?) into it. Anyway, the guy never replied and now she is still feeling heartbroken.
[Edited at 2006-10-20 22:47]
| | | | | Biometrics?? | Oct 20, 2006 |
Maria Karra wrote: Jack Doughty wrote:
A device for assessing the age of a male patient by measuring the strength of his urine jet.
Interesting... But why go through all that trouble? Couldn't we just ...ask him how old he is?
Very handy at passport control, I would imagine.
"Would you step over here please sir, and see how far you can pee?"
(a little later..)
"I'll have to ask you to come with me. Your passport says you're 30, but your urine says you're 60. I have reason to believe you may be travelling with false documents."
"But I went just before the plane landed, that's why it only just made it past my shoes..."
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Johanna Timm, PhD wrote:
This went on for about a year. Then one day, their letters simply stopped. And I am still wondering what happened. Did she get tired of him? Did he pass away? Had I somewhere along the line chosen a wrong word?
Your story reminds me of a book written by Gabriel García Márquez, if I'm not wrong it was "El amor en los tiempos del cólera", two young people didn't know writing, and needed a ... public scribe? for writing their love letters, and they got married and they invited the scribe for the baptism of their first child.
The weirdest job I an think of right now was last month: a job offer posted here, English to French, with a very low rate and paid in Argentine pesos, whereas the poster was in a Northern country. Weird.
I answered that I wasn't interested by the Argentine pesos nor by the rate, but that I could do the job. I asked whether it was a mistake. No answer about the reasons but I received a quite decent proposal. Payment was promised in cash (US$)... I received the payment as promised, in an envelope sent by air mail, the bank notes were wrapped in several small pieces of paper of different kind (white, printed)... I suggested to the outsourcer to try and discover PayPal (for instance). The translation was about a website in which people from the whole world will make transactions... Weird.
Claudia
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I once had to translate a letter from an Italian guy to his English girlfriend in which he wrote repeatedly how awesome and wonderful their love-making was (including details).
I was blusing throughout the whole translation and perhaps a little bit envious?
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Ron Peek
United Kingdom
Local time: 14:46
German to English
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| Erotic SMS messages for dating game late night music channel | Oct 21, 2006 |
Hi,
The one which stands out most was the translation of tables containing messages for SMS texts that could be combined to make an erotic love match when phoning in. It contained some very graphic lines on various body parts....
Then, a month later or so, I was zapping through some TV channels at night, when I came to the music channel. My eye caught one of the lines at the bottom of the TV screen, sounding a bit too familiar. ... See more Hi,
The one which stands out most was the translation of tables containing messages for SMS texts that could be combined to make an erotic love match when phoning in. It contained some very graphic lines on various body parts....
Then, a month later or so, I was zapping through some TV channels at night, when I came to the music channel. My eye caught one of the lines at the bottom of the TV screen, sounding a bit too familiar.
I still have my doubts about using this TV 'appearance' for advertising myself as 'Peek Language Services Ltd - As Seen On TV', in particular, due to the rather 'graphic' nature of the work and some of the connotations my surname (Peek) has in the English language. Well, you can't have it all!
[Edited at 2006-10-21 10:10]
[Edited at 2006-10-21 10:11] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Parrot
Spain
Local time: 15:46
Spanish to English
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| A book of messages from extraterrestrials | Oct 21, 2006 |
One of those Armageddon types of reading.
And the publisher offered to put my name on it as translator. :
When the deal fell through because of other publication terms and conditions, a certain wave of relief washed over me...
| | | | | Wierd to astronomical proportions... | Oct 21, 2006 |
There was once a job I applied for where a guy asked me for an English to Latin translation of a short document, not too technical in nature.
The document was meant to establish his legal rights of ownership of the three stars in the belt of Orion...!
I never heard back from him, but it was right around when Pluto was declassified as a planet, and maybe that threw him off-course a little...
[Edited at 2006-10-21 15:55]
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