Jason Ma Jul 31, 2007:

Wenjer, I have exactly the same feeling. Some times if translators of both languages could work together, we can achieve unexpected quality. I just wish we can have more opportunities like this.

Wenjer Leuschel (X) (asker) Jul 31, 2007:

Native speakers Many thanks, Caroline! That is why I always say that a good translation must be done by some translators of both native speakers, source and target. You scarcely find a target language native alone or a source language alone achieving the quality like the revision you provided. And that's why I engage Chinese translators to proofread/edit my/Taiwanese translations for China market. There are some slight stylistical differences, not just the difference between Simplified and Traditional.

Caroline Moreno Jul 31, 2007:

For 那么美丽的笑容使我的心如莲花，在温暖的阳光下，和千百朵莲花一起{嫣然盛开}。I suggest, "Such beautiful smiles made my heart feel like a lotus flower, in full bloom with a thousand other lotus flowers in the warm sunshine."

Wenjer Leuschel (X) (asker) Jul 29, 2007:

Final Version "Such beautiful smiles had brought my heart into its gorgeously full blossoming, as the hundreds and thousands of the lotus flowers resplendently did in the the warmth of the shining sun."

Wenjer Leuschel (X) (asker) Jul 29, 2007:

嫣然 for the way of a smile According to 成語詞典, 嫣然：笑得很美的樣子（指女性）。形容女子笑得很美。It comes from 戰國楚·宋玉《登徒子好色賦》：“嫣然一笑，惑陽城，迷下蔡。” That same 宋玉 wrote the famous 〈对楚王问〉, explaining the commonly observed phenomenon that the music style could hardly be followed, when it goes up to a certain level (曲高和寡). So, 嫣然 should be for the way of a smile of a woman which bewilders (迷惑). Lu Zou puts it 嫣然是形容绽开的美丽样子. It is well accepted for 欧阳修 wrote the following poem.

我遭讒口身落此，每聞巧言宜可憎。春到山城苦寂寞，把盞常恨無娉婷。
花開鳥語輒自醉，醉與花鳥為交朋。花能嫣然顧我笑，鳥勸我飲非無情。
身閑酒美惜光景，惟恐鳥散花飄零。可笑靈均楚澤畔，離騷憔悴愁獨醒。

That 花能嫣然顧我笑 says exactly what Lu Zou explained --- A flower can 绽开 just like a smile. It is rather more of the judgement of the onlookers than of the subject's innate attributes, qualitites or even feelings. That is why I prefer such adverbs like "beautifully," "gorgeously" or "resplendently." And I would pick "gorgeously" which is something more than simply "beautiful."

Wenjer Leuschel (X) (asker) Jul 28, 2007:

Many thanks for the helpful suggestions! I try to translate the last sentence as "Their beautiful smiles brought my heart, pretty much like one of the thousands of lotus flowers standing in the pond, into its gorgeously full blossoming under the bright and warming sunshine." What do you think about the translation? Any suggestion for improvement would be highly appreciated.